The Swaying Queen

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.”

— Abraham Lincoln

Dear future Bernadette,

It’s my birthday today: 07July. And in celebration of that, I like to write this personal note on my future year.

I feel like it is I have to tell you something that you need to look back. A lot has happened during this past years. 40 was definitely a turbulent year for me. Starting with my partner’s cancer diagnosis in 2024, intermittent concerns about my daughter and myself and ending it with me consistent battle to a different phase to continue in pursuing our Canadian dreams: I had to fill quite some diaries to be able to process these events.

Understanding these life lessons doesn’t happen overnight. Growth is a slow process. You usually don’t feel the change happening in the moment itself, until you reach a certain point in life. You look back at the person that you once were, realizing that the person that is currently ‘you’ has nothing in common with the person ‘you’ were a year ago. You only share the same name and history.

When I look back at my year as a 40-year old, I definitely feel like I have changed into a different person completely. It’s like the only thing I have in common with the Bernadette one year ago is our shared existence; the essence that I once considered as my character has now blossomed into a different type of Bernadette.

I have learned that the most precious gift in life is time. I have learned that a beautiful soul is priceless. I have learned that being caring, emotional and ‘soft’ is okay – you do not have to be ‘cool and careless’. I have learned that if people do not treat you with kindness and respect, they are not worth your energy. I have learned that life is about the ups, and definitely also the downs. I have learned that nothing can stop me. I have learned to believe in myself, my dreams and ambitions – even if they do not fit into a stereotypical vision. I have learned your support made all this possible. And I want to thank you for that. Cheers to my 41st birthday. Let’s celebrate it together and make this year an even better one.