The Swaying Queen

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” –Sophia Loren

Mother. Nanay. Mamă. Momma. Mère. Mommy. Madre. Eomeoni 어머니. Moeder.

Different words. Different languages.

In the course of my life, I’ve learned from you many of the most important lessons.

Growing up, I kept myself wondering where does she draw her strength from? Why is she so patient, loving, and caring? How does she manage to stay up late at night, and even until early morning without uttering a single complaint? And what was she doing to bring us food when we don’t have any penny in our pockets? Well, I saw my mother work hard. She endures pain and sacrifices her pleasure for us.

The earliest memory of faith was as a young girl and trying to copy you as you teach your students, how you compute their grades, how classic you dressed and how sincere you are when you recite the rosary. And one of the lessons you shared to me was how to become a good example to Ebie and to become a good “ate” to my younger siblings. Though it is still a work-in-progress, all of your teachings never failed to guide us; always and up until this day.

For one, you taught us how to pray, but more than that, you taught and showed us difficult lessons about what it means to have faith in the midst of hardship and in times of deep sorrow. Always letting us see the meaning of being grateful and to have strength. Strength which endures no matter how rough the times could get.

Whenever dark thoughts and uncertainties clouds my head, series of memories wherein you overcame hardships and trials that you have faced started to rewind in my consciousness. The memories of how you continued to fight and pray with a sincere heart and the sincerest love for your family.

I learned what it meant to strive- from you.You have always pushed us to our limits; that poverty does not define our limits. Whenever doubts started to come up and we think that we are capable of limited things, we always run to the lessons you’ve shared to us. I know that you will see beyond us and put your conviction in us – even if it means that you have let us leave the nest and fly. You have always supported us and we can only hope that time that we can support you the same way.

Mama, you have been a good example of selfless love and I pray that I could be the same to others.

There were so many things that I carried with me and I (really) think the courage I have inside me is the result of all the life lessons you have showed me.

And for that, and everything which you have done for us, the depths of which as deep as the ocean. We may face more hardship and trials along the way and in the future but all your lessons will remain in our hearts. Its been 11 years since you passed away and it feels like just yesterday. You are priceless, Mama. Thank you so much for everything.